37+ People Tell Stories of the Fastest They’ve Seen a New Co-Worker Fired

We would think that people would want to impress their new employers, but there are some who seem to not care. Here are some things that people have done that got them fired in record time.

That feeling of a first day at a new job is one that most of us recall pretty clearly. It is overwhelming, trying your hardest to please your new employers and be the best new worker that you can be.

Well, that goes for a lot of us. Some people, however, can’t manage to keep their job for longer than a week, with some not lasting even a few hours. Here are some things people have done that their co-workers have said got them fired pretty quickly.

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Lunchtime never ends

This guy had a job at the El Paso market, which happens to be an incredibly diverse place.

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Lunchtime never ends

So, it was not so accepted when the guy that had just been hired to be the rep for the market was taken for lunch by HR and management and began making a bunch of racist jokes. Suddenly, his qualifications and industry experience were far less impressive, and he was told to not come back from lunch break.

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Company collisions

On the first day at his new job, this guy was parking his car in the company’s parking lot and managed to get into an accident with one of the cars parked there. The guy happened to still be in his car when he was hit, so he approached this new employee.

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Company collisions

The employee did not handle it well and began making threats. So, the guys whose car was hit went to security and told them not to let this man enter the building. Turns out, he was the director.

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Smile, you’re on camera

It seems as though you would assume that getting a new job would entail one thing at least: respect for the guy that hired you.

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Smile, you’re on camera

Apparently, however, some people do not understand that this attitude would be ideal in succeeding at work. This guy, for example, thought it would be a great idea to snatch his boss’s wallet whilst partaking in training, just one hour in. Luckily, it was all caught on camera.

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The party planner

When this guy was 18, he began working at a grocery store when one of the girls he was hired said she needed to head home, as her head hurt.

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Well, she then began to shop for party beverages. The manager approached her and asked if she was planning on hosting a party, she simply said yes. We would like to give this girl a piece of advice: next time, go to a different grocery store for your party needs.

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Didn’t want to miss out

Just 35 minutes into his new job as a quality inspector for products that landed up at Target and Walmart, this guy managed to lose his job.

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Didn’t want to miss out

He began to show off that he had nicked some things from his previous job, and his pay prior to this had been that much higher. Well, his new boss did not want him to feel as though he was being held back from making more money, so he had some guys show him the exit.

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Coffee runaways

Going on a coffee run during work can sometimes be the break you need, especially in a grueling and physically demanding job like construction work. Well, these 2 new employees, who also happened to be friends, both started at their new job on the same day.

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When they were asked by the boss to make a coffee run for everyone and quickly return, the two of them simply took everyone’s money and were never seen again.

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Scream and then scram

Initially, everyone who met this new employee thought he looked fair normal. Then, at around lunchtime, everything turned south pretty quick when the new guy began to scream at the top of his lungs.

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Scream and then scram

As expected of his co-workers, they rushed to check if everything was okay and make sure he was not in any sort of trouble. He simply told them that he was only screaming to check how loud he was able to do so.

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Boasting his way out the door

When this guy had been hired for a new job, he decided that the boss was not for him, which was too bad since this was the guy who held the power as to whether he would still be employed or not.

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Boasting his way out the door

Well, apparently this did not cross his mind when he decided to take a leak in his boss’s gas tank of his jeep on his first day at work. Not only did he think it was something to brag about, but unfortunately for him, it was all recorded.

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No complaints, or get crushed

Yes, we know, people at bowling alleys sometimes can get pretty competitive and forget that it really is just all fun and games at the end of the day. However, that is no reason to retaliate and engage with these sorts of customers.

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No complaints, or get crushed

Nonetheless, this new girl working at the bowling alley decided to react to a complaining patron by dropping a bowling ball on his foot. She was fired only an hour after starting her job there.

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Fired with fries

When this guy worked in the fast-food industry, one of the managers in the company relayed this tale. She had hired a kid that rarely showed up for work.

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One time, when he did not show, she did not have anyone to fill his shift so she took the shift herself. After working for a few hours, the employee who had not shown up comes to the restaurant with a bunch of his friends and tries to order food.

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Falling crabs

It takes a sense of maturity to work behind the seafood counter, apparently. When a 19-year-old kid was hired for the job, he was seen twice by his co-workers before he was never seen again.

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When one of them approached another to find out what had gone down, he found out that the kid was closing the counter and the closing manager had walked by just as 5 pounds of crab legs fell out of his pants.

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Teapot trasher

Throwing around and breaking China sure is a good way to release tension, but would make the recommendation that it would probably be better to refrain from doing this at work.

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Teapot trasher

Unfortunately, however, this guy did not get this memo after he was hired to work at a tea store doing stock. On his third day on the job, the manager walked in on his smashing around teapots and teacups. We do not need to say what happened next.

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Lobster love

Do you ever see a potentially dangerous situation arise in front of you, consider it for a second, and then ignore these intrusive thoughts like a normal human being? Well, apparently this guy working in a grocery store could not resist doing this bizarre thing.

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Lobster love

He calmly removed the elastic bands from a lobster’s claws from one of the tanks and then placed it back amongst the other lobsters. We do not need to explain further.

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Executive liar about his cooking skills

If you are applying for a position at a new workplace as the “Executive Chef,” we would recommend first making sure that you know how to make a few basic dishes.

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Executive liar about his cooking skills

Sure, we know that most people can get a handle on making simple things pretty quickly, but if you are working in the “Executive Chef” position, we would assume that you would know how to make something like a quesadilla. This guy didn’t last 5 days.

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At least nap inconspicuously

We get it. Working can sometimes get pretty exhausting, and all you want to do is lie down and rest your eyes. Honestly, sometimes we do not understand why nap time is only for kids when we think that we adults would probably appreciate it more than they seem to.

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This guy, for example, would probably still have his job if he was just allowed to take some naps from time to time. During his second meeting, however, on his first day at work, he started to snore.

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Catfishing the courts

Working in IT for the Federal courts means, understandably that there is quite an extensive background check on all new employees to make sure that none of them have any involvement with any felonies.

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Catfishing the courts

Well, a lot of people have been fired before they have even started at the courts for lying about this. However, there was one guy who was fired because he was a completely different person to the one who they interviewed on Skype.

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Ex girlfriend made him ex out

Working alongside your exes can get pretty awkward, but we would imagine that this is not a rare thing to occur, as it is not uncommon for workplace romances to flare up. However, we wonder how we would react if we were hired to work at the same place as an ex?

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This guy did not handle it pretty well. Halfway through orientation, he noticed that his ex-girlfriend was working at the same place. He simply turned around and never returned.

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Pick a better spot

Some people do not understand the phrase: there is a time and a place for everything.

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Pick a better spot

Whilst we certainly do not condone using any sorts of substances, it certainly does take something that has minimal brain usage to think that it would be a good idea to engage in certain substances in the public restrooms at work. This guy was told to pack his bag and never come back in the middle of his shift for doing exactly that.

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Who hired him in the first place?

Ah, there always seems to be that one guy that seems to not have gotten the fact that women are just as capable as men, if not more so.

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Well, this one guy learned his lesson pretty quick, after he told his trainer that he would not be listening to her due to the gender that she identifies as. Thank goodness for management coming in and booting him out as soon as they heard about this.

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Celebratory vacations

When this guy got a new job, his parents decided to celebrate big time. They rewarded his efforts in finding himself work by booking him a vacation in Orlando.

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Celebratory vacations

Well, this would have all been pretty nice and dandy, except for the fact that he did not show up to work for the first three days. When he finally rang up on the fourth day to explain his absence, his reason being that he was on a celebratory vacation did not go down so well.

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Fruit snacker

This guy used to work the bar, and the new bus boy the restaurant had hired began to eat all the bar fruit, in addition to just being an all-round supremely annoying guy. It bothered the manager, who asked him politely to please stop snacking on the fruit.

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Fruit snacker

The kid looks at his boss in the eye and proceeds to take another fruit. He gets called into the office, to which he responds with an inappropriate comment and wink. Needless to say, he exited the office without a job.

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Going for a drive

The new employee at this company decided to take the forklift and drive it right into the fire hydrant, in plain sight of the company’s security rep.

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When his supervisor was called over, he told him that he would not be able to pass any urine test, as he had already used up all clean urine when he got hired for the company. Thank goodness everyone at this workplace had a sense of humor and laughed about all this, but he was still fired.

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Mirror, mirror on the wall

When this new guy got hired, he went through all the training with no problem whatsoever. However, trouble began for him on his first day at the job, when he was not seen for three hours straight at work. Well, when he returned, he was visibly not sober.

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The manager had found him in the bathrooms, just looking at himself in the mirror. When he checked the cameras, the manager said he had been standing there for over 30 minutes.

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Go somewhere else

Apparently, you can work at a bar before you are 21, although it is illegal to have a drink. Yet, rules are rules and they must be followed. This new employee at the bar was not yet 21, when he decided to have an after-work drink with his co-workers.

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Go somewhere else

When the manager saw him, he was instantly fired. We would just like to suggest to this guy that maybe it isn’t the best idea to drink in front of the guy that knows your age.

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Do your own test

At the end of the new hire orientation, this new guy was unable to pass the simple tests that they gave out at this company. He then proceeded to yell at the facilitator of this test pretty irrationally for her refusing to take the test for him.

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Do your own test

Why he ever thought she would do such a thing, we do not know. However, people seem to have fairly strange expectations these days that are beyond our understanding.

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Radio-head

Apparently, this guy was so obsessed with radios that he could not resist taking parts from the radio repair place he worked at for his own radios at home.

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Radio-head

Well, he was told to leave after only working there for one day. However, a year later, much to everyone’s surprise, he was rehired by the company. He has then fired again about a year or so later since he was told he was a security risk.

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Fired by Daddy

When this Dad decided to give his girls’ a leg up in the workforce and hire them to file insurance claims and be the receptionist at his medical practice, there was one rule: in the office, he is the boss – not the Dad.

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Well, one of the younger girls had quite a bit of difficulty comprehending this and sassed him whilst he was seeing a patient with the amount of sarcasm that is appropriate for a teenager. Her Dad wouldn’t have it and showed her to the door.

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You snooze, you lose

There is not much that is necessary to be an adequate employee for counting inventory, except for perhaps two working arms. Well, this guy was pretty shocked when a temp agency sent him a guy with a cast for the job, but let him do the work anyways.

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You snooze, you lose

However, when he returned from his lunch break, he saw the guy snoozing and drooling in his office chair. We do not blame him for never using this temp agency again.

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You’ve made your bed, now lie in it

Working at a hotel requires the utmost level of professionalism, as people coming to these places expect only the highest level of service and will be dissatisfied if they receive anything less.

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So, we do not blame this hotel for firing their new employee after she was found asleep in one of the hotel room’s beds on her first day at work. Apparently, she was cousins with one of the housekeepers and the two threw a party when she was hired.

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Perhaps check the workplace before applying

At this Doggie Day Care, they divide up the dogs according to their size and then all employees rotate from room to room throughout the day. When a new girl was employed, she was given the bog dog room to work with.

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Not even two hours after starting to work there, she was seen running by her co-workers from the room, crying hysterically in fear. Apparently, she was scared of these dogs. Maybe next time she should not work at a place she is fearful of.

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Hay, there goes the job

When this guy got a new job at a barn, he thought it would be a great idea to go for a smoke break right by the bales of way.

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Hay, there goes the job

He obviously did not know much about farming, because he would not have thought it would be such a great idea to light up a fire right then and there if he did. Of course, when the manager saw what he was doing, he fired him right away.

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Machete mayhem

We would have assumed that someone hired for the fancy position for the international subsidiaries of this company as “Senior Auditor” would have some sort of idea as to what his job entailed, and certainly would have a bit of professionalism about it.

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Machete mayhem

Well, this guy called Credit and Debit ‘left and right,’ but what was really odd about him was the fact that he brought in a machete to work to slice up a watermelon.

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Cabbage wars

Just three hours into his first shift working a grocery store, this new employee lost it at one of the customers that were annoying him. However, his response was fairly unreasonable as he reacted by throwing a cabbage at her.

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Cabbage wars

It is not surprising that the manager then told him to please leave since his work there was done. His fellow co-workers, however, did say that it certainly did make for an entertaining day at work.

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Inappropriate elevator work

During the first day of training working in an old service elevator at a condominium, which some extremely wealthy people called home, this guy was told that the one rule was to remain silent unless he was spoken to.

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Well, this guy strikes up a conversation with one of the residents in this building, asking him the entirely inappropriate question of how much money he makes. He only lasted six hours of his eight-hour shift.

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Work is not your bedroom

We all know that there is a level of professionalism in the way you dress that is expected when you are at work, and each office demands a different sort of standard.

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Like, we have heard of companies that encourage blazers, whilst others enforce closed-toe shoes. However, we have never heard of a company that is cool with loos pj’s and slippers being worn to work. It is little wonder this woman was let go.

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The monster newborn kittens

This guy was trying to teach one of the new trainees how to make sure the kitten room stayed clean at his job as an animal care worker.

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The monster newborn kittens

Well, the logical cage to start on would be the easiest, right? So, he did exactly that, except that he turned around and saw this guy tossing these six-day-old kittens to the side. The excuse he gave was pretty ridiculous – he said the kittens had been attacking him.

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Retail is not a job for a shoplifter

This retail store hired a few new employees for a seasonal retail job, with the hiring process merely being that you show up to the interview, you have the job.

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Retail is not a job for a shoplifter

Well, this attitude worked perfectly for one of the girls who clearly was all into this job for one purpose: to take some clothes home with her. Just five hours into the day, he was caught shoplifting some things by one of the guys showing them the floor.

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Bathroom intruder

Okay, we kind of get how it would be pretty thrilling to use the executive lavatory if you are just a rank-and-file employee and were told specifically that this restroom was off-limits. However, we would still respect the company rules and just use the regular bathroom designated to us.

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Bathroom intruder

This guy, however, could not resist and used these lavatories anyways. Apparently, that was enough of a reason to get him fired, although we have a suspicion that there is more to this story.

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Unknowingly hired, knowingly fired

This guy was fired from a job he did not even know he had. He got a voicemail breaking the news to him, as he had not shown up for his first shift.

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Unknowingly hired, knowingly fired

Well, he responded by ringing them back and asking them if this voicemail had meant that he was hired. Apparently, he had just been slotted into the schedule without being told that he got the job, and were surprised when he didn’t show up.

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No more language barriers

This programmer was from a foreign country, who thought he could get away with adding notes into the code in his language in which he wrote how much he disliked the company and how irritating the boss was for making him work long hours on his second day.

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Luckily, there was another guy at the company who spoke this language, so he translated exactly what was being written. Within a week, the guy was fired.

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You wouldn’t dare fire me

Larger companies usually have some sort of security protocols in place for when a fired employee reacts badly. That being said, we don’t think anyone would be prepared for how this guy reacted to being fired. Less than one hour after orientation, the manager received a complaint about the new guy harassing all the women.

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You wouldn’t dare fire me

Lo and behold, he actually got mad and threatened to vandalize the property, just like when he got fired from his previous job. What’s worse, he was bragging about this. They really dodged a bullet here because he needs help.

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Was he a corporate spy or something?

Corporate spies are people who are hired to get a job at a target company in order to access its confidential data. It seems like that’s exactly what this guy was doing the first day at his new “job.”

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Was he a corporate spy or something?

The guy had a hard drive which he used to obtain not some but all the information he had access to. How obvious can you get? Of course, this must have been a huge red flag for the IT department, and he was escorted outside by security. Couldn’t he have been a bit more subtle?

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I’ll be back in a minute

We’ll never understand why people accept a new job only to steal cash and disappear as soon as they can. Unfortunately, it seems really common and we can’t even imagine what it must be like to deal with that.

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I’ll be back in a minute

This person shared a story from their previous job about a woman who did just that. As soon as she was taught how to use the cash register, she stole some cash and made up an excuse about having to go out for a cigarette. She never came back, and it became very obvious why.

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We can feel the awkwardness from here

We understand that some people have issues in their personal life that can get overwhelming and interfere with work. However, this story is so awkward that we can’t help but feel for the other people working with this girl. First, she shows up without wearing the uniform. Second, she doesn’t talk to anyone or do her job and just sits in a corner.

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We can feel the awkwardness from here

She even started crying before the manager was forced to fire her. They probably didn’t want to, but they didn’t have a choice. We hope she got it all sorted out though.

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He fired himself, but why?

For most of the stories in this article, there’s a very obvious reason why that person needed to be fired. We haven’t seen a single incident where it didn’t seem justified. However, we’d love to know what was going on in this guy’s mind.

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He fired himself, but why?

He vacuumed half the carpet and just walked out for no apparent reason. Was he that fed up already that he just couldn’t do anymore? How do these people think it is ever acceptable? Theoretically, he’ll never see them again but that doesn’t mean it’s okay. We’ll never know.

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The worst bouncer in the world

Working as a bouncer must be pretty interesting, we imagine. Just imagine all the hilarious incidents many of them would have. However, this guy definitely seems like the worst bouncer we’ve ever heard of. And the internet is filled with these stories so that’s quite the accomplishment.

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The worst bouncer in the world

After a fight broke out, he egged the two people involved instead of stepping in and breaking the fight. Did he not know what a bouncer does? We think justice was served because he was instantly fired after the manager found out what happened.

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He paid someone to do his job

This story is absolutely hilarious, and we’ve never seen anything like it before. First of all, who tells a potential employer, they won’t be available because they have to watch sports? Second, he was terrible at his job and caused a huge mess. However, the last straw was him paying some random kid on the street to do part of his job for him.

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He paid someone to do his job

He even had the courage to dump the flyers in the bin right in front of his boss. No wonder he was immediately fired. How can someone be so unprofessional?

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I still get paid, right?

This story shows there is no limit to just how unprofessional (and dangerous!) some people can be. We feel for the person whose phone she broke in half for no apparent reason.

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I still get paid, right?

Just imagine how scary it would be if someone did that without even saying why. It’s no wonder the manager fired her but what’s hilarious is that she still had the nerves to ask if she would get paid. Isn’t it obvious that the answer is no? It’s like she didn’t even acknowledge that what she did was really weird and scary.

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Couldn’t keep her cool around celebrities

This woman was hired as a manager at a cafe that was frequented by some of Hollywood’s biggest celebrities. Despite being told not to bother them, she ended up pestering multiple Oscar-winning actors. As unprofessional as this woman was, we still feel bad for her because it’s normal for most people do not to know how to behave around celebrities.

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Couldn’t keep her cool around celebrities

That being said, it looks like she clearly crossed the line here and was really bothering the actor. We’d love to know whether the person who shared this story was able to deal with them.

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Like a boss

This story shows why you should always verify references when hiring a new candidate. This person’s friend was fired within six minutes of his brand new job as a telemarketer. Instead of trying to sell to the customers, he ended up shouting and arguing with many of them.

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Like a boss

However, he still lists that position on his resume “like a boss.” Just imagine trying to explain that in your next job interview. That’s an instant red flag for any hiring manager.

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We feel bad for her

This isn’t exactly a story about someone getting fired as soon as they started because this poor woman never even got to work there. She tried her best to find out what was going on but got no response. What is going on here? Did she say or do something to deserve this kind of treatment?

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We feel bad for her

All in all, this just seems like an enormous mistake by management. We can’t help but feel sorry for her. Maybe the manager should have been fired for this.

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He didn’t have a car

This one is absolutely hilarious because it shows just how incompetent some people can be. Isn’t it obvious that a delivery guy needs a car so that he can travel to customers?

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He didn’t have a car

Yet, somehow this guy applied for the job thinking that the company would provide him with one. Actually, it’s really interesting that this didn’t come up in the interview. Maybe the company should first verify whether the applicants own a car or not so situations like this don’t happen.

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Masters of business in utter incompetence

This little anecdote about this woman who was fired from her job as assistant registrar on the first day raises so many questions. How did she earn two college degrees without not even knowing how to use a word processing software? We get that some people struggle with technology but not knowing how to use it at all is just too much.

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Masters of business in utter incompetence

Not to mention the fact that this person can’t even first names from last names. A teenager would be able to do that. Her incompetence defies any logical explanation.

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Skipped his first day to go sledding

Unless you’re the owner of the company, you probably won’t be allowed to skip work just because you wanted to spend some time with your friends or have fun. Yet, that’s exactly why this guy decided it would be perfectly acceptable not to show up on the first day of his new job.

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Skipped his first day to go sledding

What makes this so funny is that he even had the nerve to tell the manager in the most nonchalant manner possible that he just had to go sledding because it was the first snow day of the year.

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Look at how cool my job was

Lots of companies make employees sign non-disclosure agreements so they cannot leak any of their trade secrets to competitors or blackmail the company. Plenty of high-tech companies go so far as to even ban the use of cameras in the office. We’re sure this was all explained to this intern when he showed up on the first day.

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Look at how cool my job was

He started clicking pictures for social media and even started bragging about all the interesting projects he’d been working on. All in all, he lasted 10 minutes before he was fired. Honestly, that’s really impressive.

Disclaimer: Some photos may be stock images used for illustration purposes only. The people or places in these photos are not to be associated with the article.

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