Hilariously Dumb Things That People Have Truly Posted On The Internet

Back in the day, when you said something stupid, mostly only your close friends and family would be privy to your error of idiotic proportions. However, in the digital age, every stupid thing you say online is exposed to billions of people who can mock it.

You think that this would make people a little more careful about their online remarks, but in fact, it seems to have had the opposite effect.

In order to make the reading experience of this article more convenient, the article has been split up into multiple pages. At the end of each page, you will see a “next” button which will take you to the next page. Enjoy your reading!

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If You’re Going To Lie, At Least Try To Make It Believable

Person, in marketplace post, advertises pet-free home while there is a cat sitting on the item for sale

I get it: Facebook Marketplace can be a tough crowd when you’re trying to get a fair offer from strangers. 

But you shouldn’t lie and you definitely shouldn’t expose your own lie.

Someone Send Nicole To A Geography Class

Status: Goodbye America, Hello New York!

I’m curious: How old is she? What country did she think New York was part of? 

Did she believe it was its own nation, set apart from the rest of the USA?

Love Isn’t Blind, It Just Doesn’t Understand How Time Works

Person one in text message: without you, 60 minutes feels like an hour. Person two: aww baby really? I love you so much

I mean, in their defense, I am a single and moderately cynical person, but they seem to be blissfully in love despite their lack of common sense. 

Who is the real winner here?

Dogs Have Brains, But This Person Definitely Doesn’t

dogs can't talk, so do they have brains? I mean I know they walk but it's only because we are telling them to walk??? idk

Dogs are smart enough that they can remember basic commands, quickly recognize danger from external sources, and are in tune with human emotions. 

A dog would crush this person in an IQ test.

“Let Me Just Call The Sun And See If He Can Reschedule”

Person asks for solar eclipse party to be moved to a different day (as if she could reschedule the sun)

This person had the audacity to believe not only that the world revolved around her, but the sun as well.

Rather than the very scientifically proven opposite way things actually work.

This Person Cleary Failed AP History

status post: I thought hitler was dead so how is ww3 happening?

Do they think that both of the previous world wars were centered on Adolf Hitler’s political ambition—not just the second one? 

Do they think that world wars can only be instigated by one man?

At Least The Neighborhood Watch Is Vigilant!

Person reports suspicious man lurking on corner to neighborhood watch group. It turns out to be a snowman

You know, being a member of the neighborhood watch is a noble way to show your dedication to the community. 

Just make sure there is actually a threat to report and not just a snowman.

Please Use Spell Check Before Posting!

Status: I've been trying new ways to relax. Currently I'm into essential oil diffusers and incest

You know what? Essential oil diffusers, light-scented herbal incense, and meditation are great ways to try and help yourself relax. 

Just check your spelling before sharing it with all of your closest friends and loved ones.

In His Defense, That Could Really Happen on Family Guy

I accidentally hit the language button on my remove last night and watched family guy in Spanish for 10 minutes thinking it was a weird joke

Just about everyone has had at least one experience where they were bamboozled by the television only to realize they had hit the wrong button. 

But it’s never taken me more than a minute to realize.

Did Some People Just Never Make It Past The First Grade?

If dinosaurs became extinct million years ago, than why is the earth 2019??? I swear these so called

This post is a brutal indictment of the public education system.

I would like to suggest radical education reform on a nationwide scale before I have to clock someone for saying something this dumb to me.

Oh No, Baby, You’re Lost Lost

this freshman was like

Picture this: It’s the first day of school and you’re excited to make a good first impression. You’re wearing your favorite T-shirt and jeans combo. 

You get a bit lost looking for your first class only to realize you are literally in the wrong building.

Hydroplaning In 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…

just finished sanding my tires so that my car will ride smoother on the interstate and honestly I kind of love this look (photo of tire with tread sanded off)

I don’t care if this person posted this as a joke. 

There are enough stupid people on the internet who don’t realize that tread is essential for driving who will follow this lead.

I Think The Math Has To Be Simpler, If Anything

When I was 6, my sister was 70. Now I'm 70; how old is my sister? Person answers question: 35. let's have a hard one next time please

There are few things that I find funnier than someone arrogantly answering a question incorrectly and following up with a condescending remark about how it was too easy. 

It is peak comedy.

She’s Pretty And Smarter Than Her Parent

My daughter just tried to tell me plutonium doesn't come from Pluto! At least she's pretty, huh?

Anyone who had parents who assumed they were always right and that you were dumb (despite you having the correct answers) understands what this situation feels like all too well.

Yes, it’s a very familiar feeling to some of us.

Please Stop Leaving Bad Advice Out For Stupid People

I saw all these posts on Facebook this week that said sandpaper on my wiper blades would rid of the ice. Well it did, but now my windshield is all scraped

I understand that having to manually take the brush and scrape ice off your windshield for 10 minutes isn’t the greatest start to a day. 

But trust me when I say it’s your best option.

You Didn’t Need To Expose Yourself Like This

Person status: Need male puppy name suggestions!!! Commenter: boy or girl

If they were unsure of the gender, they could have taken the safe route and suggested gender-neutral puppy names.

But alas, they showed everyone that they don’t understand that male/female is the same as girl/boy.

Bold Of You To Assume I Have A Boyfriend

dream home stimulus checks

There are plenty of times where ‘stop being lazy’ is a perfectly acceptable phrase to mutter. It’s probably not during a pandemic when people are being laid off and deciding whether to pay for food or rent. 

But that’s none of my business. 

This Is Just A Trainwreck

When asked

From the misspelling of Kansas (which they recognize contains an A) to the horrific misspelling of Turkey, to the fact that this other person believes that London is a country, this post is just one continuous disaster.

A disaster that just keeps ongoing.

Has This Person Never Seen A Physical Map Before?

Person one: how did people know what roads to take before google maps was made??? Person two: they used maps. Person one: what? not I said before google maps

It’s almost like the person asking the question was never forced to undergo the experience of being on a road trip and playing your Game Boy in the back while your parents scream at each other while pointing at the fold-out map.

In fact, it’s just like that.

What Site Did She Look This Up On

woman claims she found assault rifle bullet by the gas station, but photo reveals they are screw driver bits

People make me sick! How dare someone drop the interchangeable screwdriver heads from their toolkit on the ground at the gas station and leave them there! 

I am appalled by humanity!

Darn Canadians, Getting Things Right Again

status: Canadians think the Titanic was a real event and not just a movie. How dumb can you be. Commenter: I really hope you're kidding

This is still better than a post I saw where people asked how the crew was able to film the “Titanic film documentary” while the ship was sinking in real-time. 

History, people. Look it up sometime.

PETA, You Played Yourself

PETA: we saw Pokemon Go as a teachable moment for how people should treat real aminals. Person responds: Kidnapping them and forcing them to fight?

Before you use a piece of popular culture to try and reinforce your beliefs, you might want to consider really getting to understand it.

Just in case you end up contradicting your own viewpoint.

May I Emphasize The Parking Element Of This Ticket?

Person asks how fast a person was going in order to get an expensive parking ticket

A more relevant question may be this one: 

“How slow are the neurons in your brain firing in order for you not to realize that a car, when parked, is not moving at all?”

Hmmm, Can’t Imagine Why He Chose Korean…

Tweet:

I understand that being a reporter on the red carpet for an event—let alone the Oscars—can be a very stressful job. 

But perhaps you and your team should work a little harder to do question prep.

Welcome To FM Radio, Invented In 1933

Person one: do you ever wonder if anyone else in the world is listening the the exact same song as you and on the exact same lyrics as you? Person two: No... I am already familiar with the concept of FM radio

Have we really reached this point in time? 

The point when people don’t remember what it was like to listen to the radio on your way to school and see if your friends got the trivia of the morning right too?

What Do The Scientists And Health Professionals Know?

photo of man whole health warning sign over a bunch of crabs captioned: people in my city are claiming the dangerous algae blook to be a fisheries

Warning to people who generally like to be alive and not dead: 

Do not go fishing and crabbing in areas with algae blooms and pollutants that are known to kill people!

Sorry To Break It To You, But This Is Not Discrimination

person angry there isn't a

Sometimes, you’re not being specifically discriminated against by the standardized form that doesn’t have a “straight” option. 

Sometimes you’re just too dumb to realize that “heterosexual” means the same thing as “straight.”

The Whole Family Can Benefit!

Status: We are looking for a Tooter for my son after school. He's in 6th grade. Anyone interested? Social studies and English

Why limit tutoring services to your son when the whole family could learn a lot about English? 

Within one lesson, you could all know how to spell basic words like “tutor.”

Not Once Did I See A Meaty Okra On Screen

Idk guys. What if like... What if The Office is just a meaty okra show?

I hope this is a joke. I hope this is a joke. I hope this is a joke. 

I hope this is a joke. Please let this be a joke.

Podcasts Killed The Radio Star

person 1: In breaking news moments like this, there should be a type of podcast you can listen to in real time, easily accessible for free. Person 2: radio. You're thinking of radio

I didn’t think that the radio was such an ancient concept, but it’s insane to think that a large group of people have never spent the whole car ride trying to find a good station.

Radio. You’re thinking of a radio.

All Around The What Now?

Facebook post: The Flat Earth society has members all around the globe

Pro tip: if you’re trying to make others believe that the Earth is actually flat, you might want to avoid using terminology that undermines your whole idea such as “all around the globe”.

Just a thought.

Not A Koala-ty Purchase

my girlfriend is currently crying because she thought the $70 she wanted to spend on

Buying a dog costs anywhere up to $1000 dollars and adopting one from a rescue is often cost more than $100. 

In what world would it be possible to purchase a koala for $70?

Have People Forgotten How Fractions Work?

woman, on recipe that demands 1/4 cup sugar

After spending several torturous years in elementary school going through fractions in math class, you’d think that someone would know better or at least visually tell that the 1/4 cup is smaller than the 1/3 one.

You would think that, but you wouldn’t be right.

This Is Stupid, Not Poetic

quote by charles bukowski

As someone who has an English degree, I feel justified in saying this.

Many things that are supposed to be “deep” and “poetic” are just logistically flawed and kind of obvious.

I Feel So Bad For This Docotr

I've been called a lot of named and accused of a lot of things by ER patients but it's surreal to have a patient accuse me of falsifying their COVID result because they don't believe the virus is real as I'm actively trying to keep them from dying from multi-organ failure from COVID

“The virus is a government lie!” 

The patient said between heaves and coughs while the doctor tried to put them on a ventilator to support their failing lungs amidst a global crisis.

…Are Boomers Okay?

on an article about how people wrote

This is a PSA to boomers: the jokes about young people not knowing how to spell are so old. I assure you they would not struggle with this four-letter word. 

Please just stop.

Why?

Tony hawk tweets

It’s never too early to set your child on the terrifying path of existentialism—at least, this girl’s parents didn’t think so. 

I’m absolutely certain that Tony Hawk stayed up all night thinking about it.

Numbers R Hard

people who leave their phones set to military time are war criminals. how do you look at 16:05 and go wow I can understand that. bootlickers, what's next? you gonna go join the army? recruit me? Person responds: americans be like ok I can't count past 12 actually

I really don’t see the big deal about someone preferring one style of digital clock over another, but apparently this person is really passionate about clocks and 12-hour time readings. 

Weird passion, but okay.

They Really Thought They Were Doing Something

person one: Frankenstein enters into a body building competition and finds he has seriously misunderstood the objective. Person two: FOR THE LAST TIME, FRANKENSTEIN WAS THE NAME OF THE DOCTOR. Person one: ... a doctor who built a body

As a literature geek who majored in English in college, I can understand some people’s irritation at misused references. 

However, this might be the one time someone actually mentioned Frankenstein correctly.

You Missed The Point

person one: (photo of breakfast club) Just remember, for every Boomer that hates a Millennial, there's a generation in between that hates you both.

I feel like it’s a natural occurrence for every generation as they get older to start hating the younger generations, forgetting what it was like to be a child or a teenager.

Will we ever learn?

Drama Queen Sounds About Right

person one: I put on a mask and literally within seconds I am struggling to breathe. Person two: The surgeon who wore a mask for six hours to reconstruct my knee thinks maybe you're lying and also a drama queen

Am I going to pretend that wearing a mask all the time isn’t hot and uncomfortable? 

No, but pretending like it’s threatening your life to breathe with one, as a healthy adult, for a few seconds is ridiculous.

Checkmate, Ma’am

older woman posts photo complaining about youths not standing on bus for her to sit down. Commenter points out the empty seat beside them

Some people really go out of their way to complain about things for no reason. What does this woman gain by making this post? 

Just sit down and be quiet.

Yahoo Really Fumbled The Bag

timeline demonstrates Yahoo's poor financial decisions

It’s one thing to miss an opportunity or two and maybe make a poor financial decision, but Yahoo seems unable to make a single good choice for themselves. 

Some people never learn.

Guess I Can’t Apply…

i saw a job post the other day. It required 4+ years of experience in FastAPI. I couldn't apply as I only have 1.5+ years of experience since I created that thing. Maybe it's time to reevaluate that

I feel like job postings are a huge joke. 

They’ll say things like, “Entry-level position: must have a Ph.D. and 25 years of experience to apply. Pay is $11 an hour.”

America Should Just Adopt The Metric System

person one: Hey jack***, we use MPH in this country. Person two: Wheels is an Australian magazine; we use metric measurements. Person three: You're on the internet, which is American. Therefore you can use American (the best) measurements

Do you know how many countries in the world use the metric system? The answer is 194. 

Do you know how many use the imperial system of measurements? The answer is 3.

This Is Disgusting

when I was 17 I worked at a bagel place and each night we loaded dumpsters of bagels from the day. A homeless man came in an asked for a bagel. Rather than throw them out, I gave him a few in a plastic bag. My boss reviewed the cameras and fired me for

Most of the time, I like to believe that people are, in general, good. 

But then I read stories about monsters like this, and I start to question if they really are.

We’re All Going To Die

I just moved to Miami & have to get a COVID test/quarantine for 2 weeks before school, which is fine. I was asking where the best places to get tested were & one of them SERIOUSLY said

I can’t imagine being in the middle of a global pandemic that has killed hundreds of thousands of people and preferring to get a fake negative test just so I can potentially spread illness more.

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